


Pulled Apart

by fireflysglow_archivist



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-26
Updated: 2006-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-29 09:13:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14469507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflysglow_archivist/pseuds/fireflysglow_archivist
Summary: Prompts 1-20 of the Joss100 Challenge.  Focused on Kaylee.  Angsty.





	Pulled Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Series spoilers. Spoilers for OIS. Takes place inbetween shows ending and the movie.

  
Author's notes: Series spoilers. Spoilers for OIS. Takes place inbetween shows ending and the movie.  


* * *

Pulled Apart

## Pulled Apart

  1. Dreams 



Kaylee smiled to herself as her eyes slowly fluttered open. Her prince had come for her again that night. She could only really attribute it to the fact that she had spent most of the night reading those cheesy romance novels of hers. Inara was the only one who knew about them. When she'd go out, if she had some free times she'd pick Kaylee up one. They were her guilty pleasures. Still, even if the dream was the novel's fault, she was still glad to have it. 

It always started off the same, the face, so clear in the dream but so vague and distant once she woke up. The face of her prince. She always had the prettiest outfits in them, prettier than even Inara's stuff. And he would take her hand and lead her up these big steps into the most beautiful party she'd ever seen. There were tables and tables of food and just the nicest people one ever met. And they danced all night long. Sometimes her dreams made her long for night. A alarm above her sounded and she shot to her feet. She didn't even bother to put on her shoes as she rushed up the ladder out of her room. 

* * *

2\. Nightmares 

Kaylee pulled herself out of her bunk and ran at break neck speed to the engine room. The wailing, red flashing light made the whole corridor feel like it was covered in blood. She could feel the pounding of her heart as she skidded to a halt just in time to see sparks fly up from the top of the engine. She knew what was wrong immediately. Also knew she couldn't fix it while it was up in the sky. The catlyzer was blown. Auxiliary life support was off. She had to find a way to fix it. 

"Kaylee." Mal's voice gave her a start. She jumped and turned to see him in the doorway, staring her down again. 

"Yes, cap'n?" she asked nervously. 

"Serenity breaks, it's you who broke it," he told her, his eyes narrowing angrily at her. 

"Cap'n, it's the catalyzer again. It's broke. Can't be fixed," Kaylee told him as she pulled the piece out. 

"Fix it Kaylee. You wanna breath don't you?" he asked. 

"'Course I do," Kaylee said, exasperated. "But some things....can't be fixed when they're broke." Mal's eyed darkened and he took a menacing step forward. 

"You ever been raped, Kaylee?" 

Kaylee's eyes flashed open and she sat up in bed. Her body was taunt as she refused to look around the room, afraid of some shadow, lurking and watching her. She closed her mind and let out a long breath. It had only been a nightmare, that was all. Ain't no one was gonna hurt her there. Captain had told her, no one could hurt her. She knew he was lying just to make her feel better, but it was nice still. Nice to hear it even if it wasn't true. Even if she wasn't safe. 

* * *

3\. Daydream 

Breakfast was quiet, everyone looking around with nothing to say. Except River. She was talking about all sorts of things. Even was correcting everyone's talking, the captains included. He seemed a mite annoyed at it, but he didn't say anything just let her go on like she was. 

"Was not were, you must use the correct tense," River said, eyeing Jayne who only rolled his eyes and took another bite of his food. 

Kaylee felt awkward at the table, guilty and afraid. She hated being here, out in the open, not behind the safety of her locked bunk. Sometimes she would let her mind wander and day dream as she thought about the new parts she needed for Serenity or how she could set up some sort of alarm system for if someone tried to get into her room unasked. 

Only bad part about daydreaming was someone usually noticed you weren't all there. Everyone was so used to Kaylee being the happy heart of Serenity, anytime she went somewhere else in her head, someone had to bring it up. A lot of times it was Simon. 

"You alright, Kaylee?" he asked, giving her a start. She looked down at her plate and realized she hadn't eaten a bit. 

"Just ain't hungry," she said, shaking herself out of her reverie. 

"Kaylee, you really should eat," Simon said as she stood up. 

"You hungry still, Jayne?" she asked, ignoring Simon. Kaylee passed him her plate before he could even answer. Jayne just grinned real big and took the plate as Kaylee moved away from the table. No more time for daydreams, time to get back to work. 

* * *

4\. Emotion 

Kaylee headed down to the engine room, glad to be away from anyone. Serenity's humming engine usually was comforting, but lately all she could hear was everything but the engine. Every footstep, every voice, every clang and bang. She took it all in, wondering who was making it, why, and if it was a danger. 

She could hear footsteps approach and knew it was the captain. He made it his daily visit to come check on her. She figured her running off without eating had got him worrying even more. Last thing Mal Reynolds needed was something else to worry about. She put on her brave face and waited until she heard his voice. 

"What was all that about, meimei?" he asked. Kaylee turned and shook her head, putting on her mask of smiles. 

"Awe it was nothing cap'n. Just ain't hungry is all," she told him with a minor shrug. 

"You ran outta there like a scared kitten. Doc has got a point. You need to eat, ain't seen you eat more'n a bite or two the last week. 

"Just ain't hungry, cap'n. Maybe when we stop off I can get some real food. Guess maybe I'm getting a bit of cabin fever. Need something real t'eat." She hoped he wouldn't take offense to that, but it was the least lame of all the excuses she had running through her head at that moment. 

"Molded protein can get a mite tiresome after a spell, but I reckon it's better to make yourself eat a bit than starve yourself like you have been doing," he said. Kaylee gave him a small smile and nodded. 

"Okay, cap'n. I promise I'll eat something for lunch. He nodded and left the engine room. She let out a long breath and was finally able to drop the mask from over her emotions. They were her emotion, and if she didn't want them seen, they wouldn't be. 

* * *

5\. Hot 

Kaylee could see Mal walking down the corridor and finally turned back to Serenity. She needed a bit of patching up and then Kaylee could escape to her bunk. She reached out and grabbed her wrench. It was heavy, a good weapon. If she was fast enough she could maybe hit someone on the head with it. She just couldn't hesitate. That was her weakness. She froze under pressure. 

Tinkering with some of the bolts, she could feel Serenity's hum coming back into synch with everything else. She had just gotten a bit loose around the edges was all. Now she was all tightened up she could run smoothly. It gave her a small, genuine smile to be able to do what she was good at. If there was anything she was good at it was talking to machines, Serenity above them all. She was her girl. 

Kaylee reached out to tighten the last bolt but jumped back with a hiss as the side of her hand was scalded with steam as a crack in workings sprung loose. Kaylee jumped down for her can a sealant, spraying it over the new wound in Serenity's engine. The sealant work, the foam hardening instantly. It was a quick fix until she could replace the part, but it would do for now. 

Kaylee brought her hand down to look at and grimaced. She should just wrap it up and go back to her bunk, but it hurt pretty badly. Her eyes flickered between the hallway leading towards the infirmary and her bunk door. She wasn't looking forward to facing Simon, but the minute he saw something wrapped around her hand he would be concerned. He'd been even more concerned as to why she wouldn't come to him, raising more questions she didn't feel like answering. No she had to brave the storm and go find him. 

"Simon?!" 

* * *

6\. Cold 

"Simon you in here?" Kaylee asked, peeking her head inside the infirmary. He wasn't there. He always was there. She frowned and headed for him bunk, but he wasn't there either. When she finally found him he was sitting with Inara laughing over some story he was telling her about Osiris. The two were sitting pretty comfortably together in the lounge. Made her stomach lurch for a moment. "Simon? 

"Yeah?" he asked, taking his time before he tore his eyes away from Inara. 

"Well I burned myself and I was wondering if you couldn't look at it," Kaylee said. 

"Could look at it," River corrected from the doorway as she passed by. 

"Right, could look at it," Kaylee corrected herself. 

"Of course," Simon said, his voice was distant and he slowly stood. 

"It ain't really a big deal, just needs a little tending to," Kaylee said softly. Simon just nodded and lead her towards the infirmary. There were no words exchanged and Simon quietly soothed an aloe over her hand before wrapping it. Kaylee's eyes watered a little at the stinging sensation, but it weren't nothing compared to the actual burn. When he was finished she stood up and gave him a quiet thanks. He just nodded and began to clean up. The infirmary felt so cold right then. Kaylee headed out and towards her bunk. 

"Kaylee!" Mal's voice popped from nowhere, stopping her from entering the safety of her room. "'Bout to land planet side, said we needed a part?" 

"A couple," Kaylee said with a nod. Her thoughts weren't on Serenity, but on the chill that was still coming from the infirmary. Simon had felt so cold. 

* * *

7\. Lust 

Kaylee walked idly through the junkyard, her eyes seeking out her desired parts, but her heart just not into it. It was comforting to be off ship, away from the tension and the curious eyes, but she felt naked and alone without Serenity's hull around her. Even if she could be breached, even if the world could get to her there, it was still Serenity and Serenity would do what she could to protect her. Kaylee had to keep reminding herself of that. 

"You don't want that part," came a gruff laugh as a man about Mal's age snatched it out of her hands. Kaylee hadn't even realized she had been looking at it. When her eyes scanned over it from where it sat in his hands she realize she indeed did not want it. 

"You're right. Guess I was off in my head somewhere," she said with a little laugh. 

"If you need a new thruster cables I can help ya find some good ones, not like this luh suh," he said, tossing the cables back in with the rest of the junk. 

"You know a lot 'bout ships?" she asked with a small smile. Mechanics had always done it for her. Anytime she could talk shop with someone it was a welcome conversation. It got so bothersome sometimes trying to explain every bitty thing to Mal or Simon. 

" I sure do. Own that pretty one over there, names Sunfire" he said pointing over to the docks. There was indeed a nice and shiny BoxTrader sitting four ships down from Serenity. 

"Well ain't she somethin'," Kaylee whistled out. "She got the new F-80 engine?" 

"Sure does. You know a bit 'bout ships?" he asked her, a slight twinkle in his eyes. 

"I'm the mechanic on that firefly right over there," Kaylee said pointing to her own ship. "Names Serenity." 

"Nice name....Serenity Valley?" he asked cocking an eyebrow. 

"Yeah, cap'n fought in the war. Still wears his browncoat everywhere he goes. Says we're all just folks now, but I think he likes t'think he's still fighting some war," she said wistfully. 

"I was in the third battalion, fought in that battle. Maybe me and your captain will have a sit down and talk about old times. I'm Roger by the way," he said offering his hand. 

"Kaylee." 

"Nice to meet you Kaylee. You have a fine looking ship there. Just hope you don't go and put any of those garbage thruster cables in her," Roger said with a genuine smile. 

"Wouldn't think of it. Say, I got a minute, I'd sure love t'see your engine. I haven't gotten t'take a new look at the F-80. Been dying t'get my hands on one and just check her out," she admitted. 

"I'd love to show her off," Roger said, the smile on his face growing even more. Kaylee smiled back and chewed on her lip for a moment. He motioned to lead the way and she nodded and followed after him. 

* * *

8\. Hate 

Kaylee's heart pounded in her chest as she slowly walked up the ramp of Serenity. She should have been back hours ago, but she had just gotten so caught up with Roger on his ship. He had had his first mate send a wave to Mal saying she'd be a little late. She hadn't wanted the captain to worry. But now she was nervous. The first eyes she saw were Mal's. She held her breath while she waited for him to speak. He was perched atop on of the cargo crates, the shadows of the cargo bay nearly hiding him in her depths. 

"You're back," was all he said. 

"You said we was gonna be planet side for a few days, I didn't think I'd be-" 

"It ain't," he cut her off. "It ain't none of my business, Kaylee, 'less you want it to be." Mal hopped off the crates. "What a person does with their own body is their concern and their concern alone. I just hope this didn't have anything to do with the way you been acting lately. Pushing us all away. You been carrying a torch for that doctor for a spell now and I was a mite shocked to find out where you was." 

"Does he know?" Kaylee asked quietly. Mal nodded. 

"He was just outside the bridge talking to Wash when your wave came through." 

"What did he say?" she asked, her voice growing even softer. 

"Not much. He walked away without saying anything really." Kaylee nodded and moved passed Mal and towards her bunk. In the dark recess of the corridor she could see him. The doctor, his arms were cross over his chest and a look of utter disappointment and sadness clearly marked his face. Without a word he turned and headed down towards his room. Kaylee's heart clenched in her chest. Sex hadn't ever been more than something for a bit of fun with someone you liked. But seeing the look on his face had hurt and she knew it had meant something to him. Something different that she had wanted to be a part of. He didn't hate her, but she hated herself. Hated herself for causing that look on his face and hated herself for knowing that there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing she wanted to do about it. She was so far lost in herself she couldn't even gather the strength to fight for him. She had ruined her chances with Simon and she hated herself for that. 

* * *

9\. Love 

Kaylee walked through the halls of Serenity with not much but a blank stare on her face. When she saw someone coming she would smile for them, bright as she could manage, but she felt empty inside. Alone. She'd never felt so worthless as the moment the morning after her night with Roger. She had entered the kitchen hoping to at least explain herself, explain the emptiness she had felt, explain what was going through her mind, but she couldn't. Simon was cultured and refined and would never come out and say it, but he thought she was a whore. He had used funny words to try and make it seem nicer, but there was nothing nice about their conversation. 

Kaylee hadn't cried, she couldn't. Her and Simon had been lost long ago. Lost when she had lost herself. Kaylee couldn't really pinpoint when she had stopped being herself, but she knew she had to find herself once more. 

"Meimei?" It was Inara. Kaylee had been avoiding her. If there was anyone on the ship she couldn't stand lying to, it was Inara. "Kaylee, can we talk?" 

"Yeah," she said, turning to face the companion. Inara gave her a reassuring smile and took her arm, leading her back towards the shuttle. Kaylee wasn't even sure where she had been going before Inara found her. Sometimes she got so lost in her thoughts she roamed the ship, usually ending up in the engine room or kitchen or somewhere familiar. 

"You seem distant. These last couple of weeks. Not yourself. Are you alright? I worry about you." Inara's expression did indeed seem worried and Kaylee did her best to smile. Inara opened her shuttled and ushered the two of them into her inviting room. Inara offered her a seat and Kaylee graciously took it. 

"Oh, I'm fine, 'Nara. Haven't been feeling like myself lately is all. With everything that's happened...guess I just don't know what to do with myself." Kaylee shrugged and gave Inara's arm a squeeze. 

"Is this because of what happened with you and that other man, Roger I think his name was?" Inara's curious look was enough to make Kaylee smile. She was the one usually so intrigued by the companion's men, and now the tables had turned. 

"No. Roger was nice, had a good time with him. Just so much has happened 'board Serenity. I sometimes I don't feel like I fit. Too weak for my own good and Simon...well he ain't ever gonna come 'round to me now. Not that I blame him. If he had slept with someone else I don't think I'd be exactly friendly to him either. I tried to explain, but it all came out jumbled and I don't think it matters much anyway. What's done is done." She shrugged and smile it off. 

"Why did you....with Roger I mean?" Inara asked. 

"Sometimes a girl could just use a little comfort. Words are nice , but there are times when a warm body and pillow talk is what you need to get through a rough patch. Seemed to have only made things rougher for myself though." Inara's arm on her back did help a bit. She smiled at Kaylee, sympathetic and warm. It was a nice smile and Kaylee was glad to have it shinned on her. 

"I understand Kaylee. If there is anyone on this ship who understands, it's me. No one is judging you. We love you. All of us do." Inara wrapped her arms around Kaylee and Kaylee welcomed the hug. She needed love in her life, and it didn't always have to be from a man, sometimes family love was enough to get you through the storm. 

* * *

10\. Anger 

"Gorramit, Kaylee! I thought you said all we needed was the rutting compression coil and Serenity would be in the black again!" Mal shouted. Kaylee groaned and rolled out from under Serenity's engine. She picked up the wrench and tried to tighten something up, but the captain would not be ignored. 

"Miss Frye, I believe I was talking to you," he said angrily. 

"I'm doin' everything I can, cap'n. I told you we might be able t'get 'way with just the coil, but my girl needs a lot of work and she ain't gonna fly until it's done. I've tried and tried, we still need a new buffer panel. Least with that we can get off the ground." She sighed and leaned against the wall for a second. 

"Kaylee, you ever been raped?" Kaylee blinked and looked up at Mal is shock. She opened her mouth to say something, but the words wouldn't form. 

"Kaylee? Kaylee you gonna answer me? How much does a gorram buffer panel cost?" Kaylee shook her head and looked at Mal again. The words couldn't have come out of his mouth, she knew they couldn't have. 

"Why you always gotta be so angry cap'n?" she asked, pushing off against the wall and pushing her hair out of her face. 

"'Cause I'm the captain," he replied matter o'factly. 

"Buffer panel ain't too much if you can find one in a decent junkyard. I'll go soon as I finish up here," she told him. The words echoed in her head though, she couldn't get them out. It was like her dream, but she had been awake. 

"Why won't you talk to me, Kaylee?" The words had come outta nowhere and she was a little stunned to hear them. At first she thought maybe it had been her imagination again. 

"Don't know what you're talkin' 'bout, cap'n" she told him softly. She could see the hurt and anger in his eyes. She just didn't know what to say to Mal. She didn't even know what was wrong with her half the time. 

* * *

11\. Jealousy 

Mal could see them talking, the way Inara wrapped her arms around Kaylee and the way Kaylee turned her head into the companions warm embrace. The two had become so close, so like sisters. It was no wonder she choose to talk with Inara instead of him. Mal couldn't help but be jealous. He'd always thought a Kaylee as his little sister. He did what he could to protect her and make sure she was safe, but she refused to let him in. Something was eating away at her and she wouldn't tell a soul except Inara. 

He supposed he should be glad that she was at least talking to someone, but he was the rutting captain. He wanted to be the confidant, even if he didn't have the time for it. He'd make time for Kaylee. Whatever was going on in his little mechanic's head, he couldn't afford to lose her. Not for the ships sake and not for his own. She was the one bit of happiness still left in his life and now that smile was melting away, being corrupted by the darkness of the world around her. The world was too cruel for a sweet girl like her. 

* * *

12\. The Start 

He watched her for afar, watched the way she seemed hallowed out inside by everything around her. Watched her scared eyes roam over the dark shadows of Serenity's corners. She was watching and waiting for something to jump out and scare her and Jayne couldn't help but pin this all back to Early. Maybe even a little before. The man hadn't done much more than threaten her, but he had gotten under her skin, planting a seed of rot that had been eating away at her. 

He knew what that little escapade with the ship captain was supposed to be. Jayne had had enough whores to know sometimes you needed to lose yourself in another persons arms. Why Simon didn't see that was the doctors own damn fault. Kaylee weren't like no core girls. She was a free spirit and needed a lot of love and attention to keep that bright smile on her face. She hadn't been finding it from the doctor. Much as she pulled and strained for any bit he had, there just wasn't enough to feed her. She was a shining star and the doctor was a light bulb. He paled in comparison. 

Jayne could see her coming, her eyes on the ground as she headed for the engine room. He stepped into her path and waited for her to notice. She noticed the minute she ran right into his solid body. She let out a scream and jump back, and when she saw him her fist came up and punched him in the shoulder. "What are you doin', scaring a body like that?!" she asked as angrily as she could muster. 

"Maybe if you was paying attention to where you was going I wouldn't 've caught you off guard like that, little Kaylee." He smirked down at her and she smiled back and punched him again for good measure. It was good to see her smile. "Dinner time, cap'n told me t'come find you." Her smile fell a little. Since her and the doctor had had their falling out she'd avoided dinner as much as possible. 

"I really gotta get t'the engine. Serenity's been making a funny noise-" 

"Mal said t'make sure you come to dinner or I don't get any. And I'm hungry girl, so lets git." He brought his arm around her shoulder and started to lead her towards the kitchen. She reluctantly went along. Jayne watched her out of the corner of his eye. It was time to bring this girl back to the living. He wanted her thousand watt smile back and as annoying as it was sometimes, he missed her constant cheer. The crew had a plan and it started with getting the poor girl to eat something. 

* * *

13\. The End 

Zoe paid special attention to Kaylee as they ate. She pushed her food around her plate, even taking a few bites when she knew people were looking, but the ghostly look of disinterest on her face told Zoe plain enough the girl wasn't hungry. The way Kaylee had been eating lately it was a miracle that she could be anything but starving, but she didn't even look at the food, just stared down absently. 

Something had to be done. If she didn't start eating and sleeping then a whole lot of bad was gonna start happening. Zoe's affection for the mechanic might not always be clear, she was a soldier and soldiers often hid their feelings, but Kaylee was dear to them all. She was like a niece to her and she was more family than Zoe could have ever hoped to have. Between her, Wash and the captain, Serenity always felt like home. 

"Don't you think you should eat something there?" Jayne asked, his mouth full as he talked. 

"I do agree," Mal added. Zoe looked between the two of them. They thought tag teaming the poor girl was going to do something? 

"Please stop," Kaylee said. She rose from the table, pushing the plate away. "You wanna order me to eat, cap'n fine. I'm really not hungry though. Ate naught but two hours ago. Serenity needs some fixing, I think I better get to that." Zoe's eyes moved to the doctors to see if he would protest, he didn't even look at Kaylee. She sighed inwardly and touched Wash's hand. He squeezed it back. Zoe rose from the table and gave the captain and the merc and disapproving stare before she followed after Kaylee. Whatever their plan was, it ended here. Kaylee needed coaxing, not pushing. 

* * *

14\. The Past 

Zoe found Kaylee sitting on the floor tinkering with some greased up part. She was intent on it, but Zoe was certain the mechanic knew she was there. "Come to lecture me?" Kaylee asked. Zoe shook her head and took a seat next to Kaylee. 

"I wanted to teach you how to fight," was all she said. Kaylee set the part down and looked over at her. 

"Fight?" she asked. Zoe nodded and smiled. 

"Early...he was a big man, took the captain out even. Think me and Jayne might've had some trouble with him. But he's in the past. I can teach you to fight, Kaylee. To defend yourself. Might make you feel better knowing that you can take care of yourself. I know it doesn't solve everything, but at least you can put Early and Niska behind you." 

"That'd be nice, Zoe," she said with a small smile. 

* * *

15\. The Future 

Kaylee stared down at her bruised hands and smiled. Seeing Zoe lying flat on her back, well it was oddly uplifting. She had done that, taken the warrior woman down. With her own two hands too. 

"Nicely done, Kaylee," Zoe said with a smirk. She rubbed her head and sat up. "I knew you had it in you. You didn't freeze." The smile Zoe gave her warmed Kaylee's heart. The woman cared about her, even if she tried not to let on sometimes. She'd shown her a lot of neat tricks, and while Kaylee was sure she'd be more nervous fighting off a man like Early, she knew she wasn't completely helpless. She could do something. There was so much more she could learn and do. 

"I feel better. I feel like maybe I don't always gotta hide behind my mama's skirt ya know?" She smiled brightly and wiped the bit of sweat off her brow. 

"You're gonna do just fine, Kaylee. Whatever happens, you'll do fine." Zoe stood up and patted Kaylee on her shoulder. "Your next mission is to knock Jayne flat on his back. Once you've done that, ain't no one gonna stand in your way." 

* * *

16\. Current 

Jayne didn't even see it coming. The foot that flew out and hit him in the back or the hands that pushed him. When he was flat on his back he was ready to kill whoever had boarded Serenity, gotten the better of him. When he heard Kaylee's delightful squeal, he had to do a double take. 

"No fair, girl," he growled. "Didn't know you was coming," 

"I know. Used it to my advantage too. Zoe taught me not t'take anything for granted. Said once I knocked you on the ground I would be ready for anything." She smiled brightly, but her smile faltered a little. The sweat on her brow was a little worrysome and the small stumble. Jayne took a step forward reaching his hand out. 

"You alright?" he asked. She shook her head and smiled again. 

"Fine." 

* * *

17\. Illness 

Simon watched her, her sunken eyes, pale skin, gaunt face. She had lost a lot of weight and it was no wonder the way she had been eating. She eat enough to keep moving. He would hear her up at all hours, he doubt she slept any. It was going to kill her. She seemed to have been improving under Zoe's care, but she had also seemed more exhausted. She had been working harder, but not eating or sleeping more. 

When she stepped into the infirmary he knew something was wrong. He had cared for her so much and she had cut him so deeply when she turned to that other man's bed, but standing there in front of him, her eyes watering and her hands shaking, he couldn't hold anything against her. "Are you alright?" The tears that ran down her cheeks at those few words broke his heart. He could forgive her for what she had done, he could see how much it pained her. They would never be where they were before it happened, but they could at least be friends and right now she needed a friend. "Kaylee, talk to me," he said, taking her hands and moving her towards the infirmary bed. 

"I don't know what to do, Simon. I thought I was feelin' better, but I can't think straight lately, and I've been so busy. I ain't eatin' right, I know, but I just can't seem to stomach the food and I lay awake at night cause all I do is have these night terrors and I don't know what to do." Her voice shook with every word and his heart went out to her. He hugged her, knowing Kaylee needed physical contact and maybe he needed it too. Her forehead pressed against his cheek, he pulled back in shock. 

"Kaylee, you're burning up," he whispered. He pulled out of the embrace and watched her face fall at the loss of contact. He rummaged through his drawer until he found his thermometer. "104. Kaylee, lay down," he coaxed. She didn't argue, just mumbled something about the room spinning. Simon soothed back her hair and grabbed one of his lights. He checked her eyes and ears trying to figure out what was wrong with her, what was causing the fever. 

It had to be influenza. Kaylee's immune system had been down since she stopped eating and sleeping, she must've caught a nasty strain somewhere planet side. At any rate, he would need to quarantine her. The rest of the crew would probably be fine, but there was no certainty and in such close quarters, who knew what could happen. "I need you to just lay here, Kaylee, I'll be right back." He took her hand and kissed it before turning to leave. He had to find the captain and talk to him. 

Mal was sitting with Wash on the bridge. Wash seemed to be explaining why the stegosaurus was much more fearsome than brontosaurus. "Hate to interrupt, " Simon said from the doorway. "We may have a problem. Kaylee's sick." 

"With what?" Mal asked, rising. 

"Influenza. She's not been taking care of herself, she must have picked it up planet side. Seems like a nasty strain. I want permission to quarantine her." The blank look on Mal's face said a lot. What exactly that 'what' was, he wasn't sure really. Some sort of affection. Deep inside Simon hoped it was only a brotherly love Mal had for Kaylee. He wasn't sure why, the doctor knew that he and Kaylee were nothing more than friends, but for some reason, he didn't like to think of her with the captain. 

"You sure that's necessary?" 

"At least until she passes the contagious point. She has a very high fever. This sort of strain could kill someone." 

"Do it," Mal said. 

* * *

18\. Health 

Kaylee's eyelids felt heavy. She could feel Simon was in the room somewhere, but she was too tired to look around. The last few days had been hazy. The fever dreams had been....intense. Some of them she could only remember the feeling, others she could remember the tiniest details. And there was always the one dream with Mal, standing where Early had stood, asking her if she had ever been raped. He voice was so cold, his eyes so piercing. There was something so frightening in hearing those words coming out of the captain's mouth. She needed a reminder she was awake, not asleep anymore. 

"Simon?" She could feel him at her side, taking her hand. 

"Hey there. Glad to see you awake." He smiled down at her, taking her hand in both of his. 

"I'm sorry, Simon," she said softly. 

"No need to say that," he told her with a warm smile. She shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut before opening them once more. 

"No, I do. For Roger. I know we wasn't seeing each other really or nothing, but I know it hurt you want I did, and I never wanted to hurt you. I liked you something fierce and-" 

"Shhh, it's fine, Kaylee. I promise. I didn't understand before, but I forgive you. You're right, we weren't seeing each other. I have no claim on you and you have every right to be happy." 

"We okay?" she asked softly. 

"We're fine. Why don't we start over, as friends?" he asked. Kaylee smiled and nodded. 

"Friends sounds good," she said. Kaylee couldn't help but feel like their poisoned relationship would have a new, healthy start. 

* * *

19\. Fight 

Jayne stood outside the infirmary, watching the exchange between Simon and Kaylee. He didn't like it much. Doctor had his chance and should have been ready to step aside and let the poor mechanic move on and be happy. But there was Kaylee, laying in that infirmary with no one to talk to but that rutting doctor and Jayne was ready to change that. Her fever had broken the day before and Simon had announced she wasn't contagious anymore. Mal and been by to see her, Inara too, but she had been asleep. She was awake now and Jayne was going to take his chance and go in and see her. 

The infirmary door opened and he stepped through. The smile on Kaylee's face when he came through the door was enough to make Jayne smile back and he wasn't the smiley type of guy. "Hey there, little Kaylee," he said, taking a seat next to her. 

"Hey," she said quietly. 

"I'm giving you a soother, Kaylee," Simon said. "It will put you to sleep, your body still needs a lot of rest." Simon didn't really wait for an answer, just administered the medication. Kaylee gave Jayne another smile as her eyes fluttered closed once more. When her breathing deepened Jayne turned a looked at Simon. 

"Maybe Mal hasn't give you the talk yet, but I'm gonna give you mine. You had your chance with this one, unless you want something to start, I think it's best if you leave things friendly like 'tween the two of you. Nothing more than that." 

"Are you threatening me?" Simon asked. 

"'Course I am," Jayne said, crossing his arms over his chest. "If you maybe hadn't been so hard on her 'bout what happened between her and the pilot, maybe she wouldn't have sicked up like she did. You ain't good for her." 

"She wasn't eating before then," Simon tried to point out. 

"You made it worse," Jayne said matter of factly. 

"Are you trying to start a fight?" Simon said, straightening a little. Jayne could have laughed at the way Simon tried to make himself look taller. 

"Think I already did, little man." 

* * *

20\. Still 

When Kaylee's eyes flew open. There was a gut wrenching feeling in her stomach letting her know something was wrong. The ship was so quiet. It must have been late because even Simon wasn't in the infirmary anymore. Kaylee sat up and pulled the blanket away from her. She slid off the bed, her bare feet touching to cool ground. She took a few tentative steps towards the door. She had been bed ridden for the most part for the last week and a half. It felt so strange walking around. 

Opening the door, Kaylee headed into the hallway. She held her breath and looked around. She could hear footsteps in the distance. Creeping quietly, she moved to peek around the corner. A man stood there, gun drawn as he slowly walked in her direction. She didn't think he saw her, but her heart pounded in her chest anyway. She had to get to Jayne somehow. Or the captain or Zoe. How had he gotten there? Kaylee's ear strained for a moment, she could tell by the lack noise the engine was making, that Serenity weren't in the sky. They must be docked somewhere. 

"Anything?" a voice asked softly. Kaylee froze. There was someone else on the ship too. She crept around the other way and saw a second person with his gun drawn. She was trapped between the two. Kaylee flattened herself against the wall and closed her eyes tightly. She needed to think of something. If she went left she could get to crew's bunks, but that men stood between the two of them. There was no way to slip by him. Opening her eyes Kaylee slowly sidled her way against the way, closer to the first man. She waited for him to approach. As he rounded the corner she kicked her foot out and tripped him. As he went crashing to the ground, Kaylee jumped over him and made a sprint for Jayne's bunk, pushing it open and dropping down the ladder. 

Jayne was sitting up with his gun trained on her the minute her feet it the ground. Kaylee opened her mouth to say something when a figure dropped down beside her. There was only a second before a shot rang out. For a moment everything was still and silent. 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title:   **Pulled Apart**   
Author:   **Meimei**   
Details:   **Work-In-Progress**  |  **PG-13**  |  **gen het**  |  **36k**  |  **04/26/06**   
Characters:  Kaylee, Jayne, Simon   
Pairings:  Kaylee/Jayne, Kaylee/Simon   
Summary:  Prompts 1-20 of the Joss100 Challenge. Focused on Kaylee. Angsty.   
Notes:  Series spoilers. Spoilers for OIS. Takes place inbetween shows ending and the movie.   
  



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